I am afraid.

My biggest fear is that I will make the wrong decision. I often spend hours every night lying in bed worrying about my future. Where will I live? What will I do? I’m usually not anxious about what the answers to these questions are. Most of the time, I’m open to going and doing whatever God wants, so I’m not too concerned about what His plan is for my life.

Instead, I’m incredibly worried about figuring out the answers to those questions. After many years of seeking God’s will for my life post-graduation, I feel like I have more questions than answers about where I’m headed after I get my degree. Although I know there is a plan, it’s scary not knowing what it is.

It’s especially scary when I reach a point in my life that I have to make a decision which will limit my options for the future. I am terrified I will make the wrong choice. That I’ll head down a path that God does not want me on and forever separate myself from His plan.

These are the times I’m awake late into the night worrying and praying that God will give me some kind of direction. That he will reveal the choice He wants me to make. Sometimes the answers are clear, but more often than not I feel even more directionless and become even more worried. How am I supposed to follow God’s plan if I don’t know what it is?

It’s at these times that I often forget two really important things. First, God can be trusted. He does have a plan that He will eventually reveal to me if I continue to pursue Him and His will. Even when I have no idea what the plan is, I can trust that God knows and is in control.

Second, God is great. He is bigger and more powerful than any choice I could ever make. When it comes to making decisions, I often worry that making the wrong choice will take me off the path that God has planned, potentially separating me from His plan forever. But really, that’s ridiculous. A God who created the world, who made something out of nothing, who came to the earth as a man, died for our sins, and rose again is not limited by any decision made by a mere human. No matter how big a decision seems to me, God is infinitely bigger. Because of His greatness, as long as I’m pursuing Him, I don’t have to worry about picking the wrong option.

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
Psalm 145:3

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