As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.
Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.
It always amazes me, no matter how many times I read this story, that Jesus’ disciples drop everything and leave their lives behind forever. Jesus says “follow me” and they do. No questions about where they are going or what they’re going to do when they get there. They just do it.
I want to live my life the way they do. I want to have such a complete trust in God that I will go and do whatever He wants.
When I don’t have all the answers
When I don’t know where I am going
When I don’t know what I’ll do when I get there
When I don’t even know how I’ll get there.
I want to be so devoted it’s only natural I would follow Jesus wherever he leads.
But it’s hard and it’s scary and most of the time I don’t trust that God has everything under control. When I don’t have every detail planned out or when something seems impossible, I question whether I am on the right path. I start to doubt decisions I’ve made and become uncertain of where God is leading.
It’s easy to trust God when things are easy and clear and safe, but when they get hard and uncertain and risky it becomes a lot more difficult. Instead of dropping everything to follow God, I decide it’s best to wait. Instead of putting more trust in God, I pull away.
I pray for God to reveal His will to me, but the problem isn’t that I don’t know His will. The problem’s that I want an easy and simple answer. He already revealed His will and now He wants me to trust and follow Him. He wants me to believe in His plan even when it’s not easy or completely clear.
But like I said it’s hard, especially when I focus on knowing what God has in store for my future instead of on just knowing Him. When I focus more on my life than on my relationship with God I end up with only fear and doubt. Those are the times I chose not to follow, when I decide to wait when I should go. However, when I focus on God trust and devotion grow from my desire to know Him. Then I act like His disciples did. When He calls I follow.