The Trust to Act

          Sometimes knowing God’s will is hard. Other times He makes it clear as day. However, even then, following isn’t always easy. Even when I’m convinced I know God’s will, I have trouble carrying it out. Instead of trusting and having courage, I doubt and question and hesitate. When things don’t go as planned, I get scared that I didn’t really know His will in the first place. I question everything I was initially so sure of. I start to think things aren’t working out because I’m disobeying God. I worry that I acted too quickly, didn’t pray enough, or ignored what God was telling me.
          When God first reveals His will to me,I get really excited and am ready and willing to jump right in. Then, as that initial excitement starts to wear off and things start to get a lot more difficult than I expected, doubt starts to creep in. I doubt that I’m following God’s plan and sometimes even whether God has a plan at all. I forget following God doesn’t always mean things will be easy. That Jesus promised we would have trouble and trials in this world if we choose to follow Him.
          When Nehemiah was given the opportunity from God to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall, he doesn’t hesitate or doubt. He acts. Even though he is scared (Nehemiah 2:2), he asks the king to provide him with safe travel back to Jerusalem. Even when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite were “displeased greatly” by his action, he trusts that rebuilding the wall is God’s will and that He will protect him (Nehemiah 2:10). He easily could have been deterred by the obstacles. He could have decided that it was too hard or that if it really was God’s will it would be so much easier, but he didn’t.
          Instead, because God put it on his heart, Nehemiah went to Jerusalem and rebuilt the wall (Nehemiah 2:12).When God revealed his will to Nehemiah, he didn’t know how God would accomplish the task. Despite all of the unknowns and the fear he must have felt, he moved forward. He trusted God had everything under control and didn’t doubt God had a plan.
          Truthfully, if I were Nehemiah, there’s a good chance the wall would never have been rebuilt. I probably would have caved to fear and doubt. I see it happen time and time again in my life. I discern God’s will, I briefly act, things get tough and I have doubts, I lose faith and trust in God, and then I give up. I hope to someday be more like to be more like Nehemiah. I want God to be able to rely on me to rebuild the wall. I don’t want to doubt anymore.
          I pray every day that God will give me the courage and strength to trust like Nehemiah did. I know God has big things in store for me and that with those things will come many more times of hardship. When those times come, I pray I would respond as Nehemiah replied to Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite:
          “Then I replied to them, ‘The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build…” Nehemiah 2:20